Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Fulfilling the Wall-E Prophecy

Paris and I are having a love-in right now, and I'm behaving like a woman on cultural death row.  

In the last 24 hours I have become acutely aware of the fact that I have a mere 7 days left on French soil before it will be gone from under my feet for good, for perhaps a year, and this idea terrifies the hell out of me.  What happens if I loose the essential life skills - feigning queuing ignorance convincingly, debating vegetables like a Jewish diamond dealer, red lipstick - that I have accumulated over the past 3 years?  Hot Stuff Handsome (HSH) had better live up to his promise to keep it réel and French-stylee up on Sunset otherwise I am going to be at a loss.

Tonight was our bi-annual meeting of apartment owners, a chance to come and bitch about your neighbours to their face in an open forum with a referee rather than discreetly under their window by the bins when you think they are at work (I know who you are...).  Of course for such exploits one needs appropriate back-up and so Forza Napoli - lives in my building, not a bin-bitcher, we take it in turns to be the fall guy for rowdy parties - came along to play.  We arrived, and they served beer, which is always a plus if you are going to discuss matters that don't always concern you ad infinitum for a good 4 hours.  On the agenda:  a stairway carpet, a flood, a faulty light in a lift, still-going-strong-despite-being-illegal lead piping, and an ongoing dispute over one old man's will of iron concerning his cellar.  Efficiency:  not today.  

On previous occasions I would have bitched under my breath about the futility of it all to Forza and quietly stewed in the corner until supper, but today I loved it, because I may never get to gesticulate wildly and connect with other human beings when making a point in a meeting and be considered normal for many months to come.  Or at least, I will get to gesticulate wildly and be considered normal but only when in the safe confines of my own vehicle, where nobody can hear me scream.

Which brings me to my point about the Wall-E prophecy:

This is the vision of LA I currently have in my mind, and it ain't good.  Only time and my ass will tell...

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