Wednesday, 2 February 2011

On the potent lure of advertising and why I should not buy a hot rod

A little background folks.  The last time I owned a car I totalled it into a tree somewhere in the region of Nantes.  But with good reason - a teenage tryst, champagne, and sex on the beach - which, I'm sure you'll agree, is a way better justification for trashing your vehicle than 'because I was on my blackberry'... (Los Angeles, I'm looking at you)

Anyways, I hate reason right now:  it's totally fucking with my American dream and I don't like it,  although you can probably understand why my gentleman entourage (note to self, must use this term more often) are strongly against this idea:

It all started when the Americano played me this, the latest commercial for Dodge:

Then I made like a good Angeleno and started surfing for car p$rn. This is always a mistake because, first and foremost, it takes you away from the primary task in hand (writing note on the back of a post-it  an Oscar winner) and secondly, because you realize that actually if you are going to do this country you really ought to do it right (a phrase that is, by design, left open to interpretation...).  It also does you the added disservice that you start judging men on the basis of their vehicles and so, another pillar in your European moral sensibilities falls by the wayside.  Anyway, here are my top five fantasy cars du jour:

1957 Porsche 356 A Convertible

1959 Cadillac Fleetwood

1960 Chevrolet Corvette

1968 Dodge Dart

1968 Chevrolet Corvette

As for the things America does well beyond cars and freedom, answers on a postcard please. I am after all conducting a survey.

Oh and FYI, the Americano has suggested sausage (the foodstuff, not the innuendo).

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