Thursday, 24 February 2011

Not today, no

The only thing happening today is this:

 Whilst it looks very nice, does it really scream fabulous screenplay waiting to happen to you?  I suppose if it was something starring Julie Walters maybe, but in the grand scheme of Hollywood coming to the table with anything less than a hot rod, some violently bastardised ancient Greek myth, and a selection of brassieres I could wear on my head just seems well, weak.

So we are back at the drawing board, literally, drawing doodles on the 'free' paper from my last salaried employment trying to avoid writing a screenplay about a lawyer who meets a gruesome end.  They say write what you know but really, getting sued or jailed is not part of the plan... 

Moving on to Plan Z, a dark romantic comedy set in Paris (cliched, mais non...)  which actually seemed fine when I started planning it out and then I took a break and went and saw the movie 'Sex Friends' and now I am in a world of despair.  It's good, I mean really good, droll even, and quick dynamic, witty; many props to Elizabeth Merriwether who wrote it.  At my wits end, I call up FruitCrate in London.  'Why are you even bothering?' she says, 'It's got Nathalie Portman in it, of course it's going to be good.  You need to start at base level and watch something really crap, like just take anything with Jennifer Aniston in it and go and watch it, then get your ass back to your desk and crank that shit out, why aim for the stars?'  And to think my first screenplay was a drama inspired by The Godfather Trilogy and the greatness of Francis Ford Coppola.  Oh how the not so mighty have fallen...

I was about to say that I think I know what the person who wrote 'Thor' must feel like (a complete and utter sellout) but then as I watched the trailer I realised that Nathalie Portman is in that too.  What?  I know having a kid is an expensive business but really?  Did you trip and bang your head or something or are you going to blame it on the pregnancy hormones?  Because it's a long and slippery slope from Black Swan to this:

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