Wednesday, 13 July 2011

Carmaggedon - it's only a road...

We have already discussed how within mere days of arriving in LA I had gone from metro-map nerd to traffic-obsessed woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  Now, they are really trying to test me:  from 15-17 July someone (who remains nameless and no doubt is trying to keep things this way) has decided to close the 405.  To anyone living outside of the Greater Los Angeles area, this statement probably requires indifference, at best, feigned interest.  From an Angeleno you'll get 50% foaming at the mouth, 70% dumb horror and 100% the world is going to end.  Why?  Because the 405, dear outside-worlders, is LA's artery, and without it LIFE CANNOT GO ON.  It will be, as they say, 'Carmaggedon'.

To understand the sheer scale of terror that this road closure is having on LA society at large, you have to understand that most people in LA spend the majority of their time in a car, or talking about avoiding traffic when they eventually have to travel.  Cars are like personal ads on wheels, so if you have been to university, we'll know about it because there will be a plaque telling us so round your number plate.  Take this guy, for example:

Now we know that he is into Daleks AND British we can give him a wide berth.

My real question is why people don't put anything interesting on these things (Daleks aside...).  I mean, if you had 9-inch cock, ACTUAL film producer, or RICH AND DUMB, around your plates you might actually see some action in this town.  At least as you are accidentally on purpose rear-ended by a 1993 black Mazda Miata...

Anyway, BE WARNED, they are closing a road, and if you don't believe me re the consequences, watch one of these instead:

Just as an aside, UrbanDaddy was today promoting a romantic helicopter ride with champagne just so you and your loved one could see what the 405 looks like with no cars on it as you fly over.  Presumably this is a useful option for one of the dates in the Sex Rules on which you don't want to get laid...


  1. If it weren't for the deliciousness of your grilling, the denial of any repercussions resulting, and my unquestionable bravery, I would not be dumb enough to attack this beast of an event. All I ask is you wait until midnight, which is probably when we will arrive.

  2. HA! Forgive is drama-queeness...He's just a boy ;)

  3. ok. I am foreigner...whatever.

    But I am wise and write anonymously so no one will know how bad my English is (or HIS).